Failure

Failure. Friend offered me a beer at lunch while we were working. Rainy cold day, had dinner at her house and she made me a cocktail. Daughter had melt down at dinner, plus pushing her home in the cold rain, needed a cocktail when I got home...

All excuses, but made me think about why I have so much trouble kicking this.
1) I have friend and relatives who like to drink.
2) I can't manage stress. I do yoga, I take hot baths... it doesn't seem to help me manage it.
3) I don't hold out for the long-term benefits. Having worked on Wall Street, I saw the downside of managing for the moment, and not the long-term. I have the same illness.

So what do I do about it? 1) Get rid of all my friends and family members who drink (which means I'll be a single mom) 2) Walk about all day long with stress relieving acupuncture pins in me, or get on some kind of medication (better? I think not) 3) Do visualization exercises focusing on the long term? Write my own life business plan?

Yes. Now we are talking. Can't hurt. But not until next weeks 'cause the drinkers arrive tonight...

Day Five, Enough is Enough

Still drinking. I was absolutely prepared not to do it today. But as I was putting my daughter to sleep, my husband drops a drink next to me. I'm PMSing - and cannot resist the temptation. Excuses, excuses, I know. Now I'm on drink four, and it's only 4:30pm. Tomorrow I start my Master Cleanse again. I did it for a day and a half last week, this week it's going to be two, almost three days... and next step will be the 10-day haul. We'll see.

I used to think that if I could just meet the perfect man, and a beautiful family, and a wonderful job, I wouldn't need the booze. But guess what... I had it. My husband is gorgeous and absolutely attentive. I have a beautiful daughter who so bright and imaginative it's sometimes frightening. And I had the job that many young MBAers would tear out the eyes of their fellow students for. So what was the problem?

I'm guessing it wasn't my exterior, but my interior. If you are reading this, you may have guessed the same a couple days ago. So what to do?